The 10 Biggest Reasons Men Resent Their Wives

Get Rid of Resentment

Despite the picture-perfect impressions we get from upbeat Facebook posts or boastful holiday letters, even the healthiest marriages aren't 100% free of conflict
. At some point, virtually everyone feels wronged by a romantic partner. Bob Navarra, PsyD, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), says that those feelings aren't what throw a marriage off course—it's how couples handle them. “While it may be frustrating that the toothpaste cap was left off, happy couples talk about these small things,” he says. But when those emotions are swept under the rug, a more toxic variety of negativity begins to fester: resentment. Here, marriage experts share some of the most common reasons husbands resent their wives and how to protect your relationship.

1. Not fighting fair.

Happy couples don't necessarily fight less, Dr. Navarra says; they just fight better, by “describing their own feelings and needs rather than labeling their partner as faulty.” And the ball is probably in your court for that. Research shows that wives are more likely to bring up problems for discussion, while husbands are more likely to withdraw at the first sign of an argument. When this keeps happening, women tend to start conversations on a negative note, which only makes things worse. Instead of resorting to personal attacks—“You're such a slob!” “We're going to be late because of you!”—which lead to defensiveness, Dr. Navarra recommends sticking to “I-statements,” such as “When (this happens), I feel (frustrated, angry). What I needed was...”

2. Treating him like a child.

“A big issue I see in couples is a man resenting his partner because he feels she talks down to him,” says Mary Kelleher, LMFT. This can leave him feeling “less-than,” and nothing triggers resentment faster than inadequacy. So avoid threatening his independence—the way pressuring him to go for a promotion so he'll bring home more money may be perceived—